“Tomboys” vs. “Sissys”

How do the “tomboy” identity and the “sissy” identity translate into a sexual identity? According to Pascoe’s Dude, You’re a Fag, when a little girl dresses and acts in a more typically masculine way, she is simply considered a tomboy and there is not much else to it except the expectation that she will eventually grow out of it. When a little boy dresses or acts in a more typically feminine way (wearing high heels, for example), there is a very different reaction. When these little children grow up, a young woman will much more readily speak about her childhood as a tomboy than a young man will speak about his more “girly” childhood. This is because the “tomboy” identity is considered to be tough and powerful, whereas boys are embarrassed to be called a girl. What was considered “cute” in childhood, however, can be more problematic in adulthood.
Pascoe notices that, as girls become women, if they keep acting in a tomboyish manner, they will be labeled a lesbian. Women with more masculine qualities are lesbians, whereas girls with masculine qualities are tomboys. Interestingly enough, women are often proud to speak of their tomboy-pasts, whereas men are deeply ashamed of having worn heels or a dress and played with Barbies as a youngster and are more likely to ignore those experiences altogether. In general, girls who act outside of their gender-norms as children are more accepted than boys who act outside of their gender-norms as children. A boy can “act gay” at any age whereas a girl only becomes a lesbian if she keeps the same behavior throughout adulthood.
Overall, Pascoe claims that a girl can be proud to be a tomboy because the masculine qualities associated with the act of being a tomboy are something that girls, even young women, aspire to obtain. These qualities include braveness and athleticism – things that most people want to have. Boys, however, cannot be “sissys” because, even though they are at such a young age, it is still seen as embarrassing.